Be Free, Be You (A journey of self love)
There are times in our lives when we lose ourselves and don’t even realize it until a transitional phase arises. I feel that’s when we’re really forced to face the reality of who we are and what it is we truly want. Once things start to shift even when uncomfortable we must remember to put ourselves first because we can easily lose ourselves in a period of change. Nowadays self love has turned into a trend where we like to portray a sense of confidence to the world through social media when in reality people are silently hurting. I think it’s important to express all the truths about the process of learning how to genuinely love yourself through your eyes, not others. The many layers we have to peel off to finally figure out who we are will be painful but beautiful because you’ll end up exactly where you were meant to be. My experience with self love has been a long journey full of ups and downs. Now finally at almost 34 I am finally accepting my power and finding comfort in feeling safe in my own skin. A transitional phase recently knocked on my door and ripped me out to wake me up from a long slumber. Separation while still being in love is not easy and has made me question everything including who I am. I’ve come to terms that being shamed throughout your formative, adolescence and early adult years by family, lovers and friends can subconsciously create a mind set of self doubt. This mindset can be carried on for years and suppress the full development of your best self until you finally see it or life forces you to see it. Going to therapy saved me by teaching me ways how to face and heal traumas in a healthy way without losing myself in old patterns that come up during difficult times. By learning how to put myself first, the universe has been sending many offerings which I try to receive with an open heart despite the sadness I constantly feel coming up to remind me of the reality I’m in. One of the blessings the universe aligned me with was the opportunity to work with 2 very talented women in Asheville, NC. They are the team behind Virago Boudoir and they totally blew me away with their love for creativity. Sarah Hooker, owner and photographer of Virago has a unique style that portrays beautifully in her portraits which leave you feeling sexy and confident in your skin. Tia Hixon-Schrock, is the badass make up artist of Virago that I had the privilege of meeting a few years ago through another job. We reconnected a little over a month ago on set shooting for East Fork Pottery and she asked me if I was interested in doing a boudoir shoot where she worked at. Once she sent me their vision board and I saw it was edgy, out of the box and full of chains, I was all in! I LOVE weird, creative, DIY concepts for shoots, that’s what I was made for. I’ve modeled for over 10 years but this was my first boudoir shoot and it was a cathartic experience with what I’m currently going through. They showered me in compliments throughout the whole experience and made me feel safe to show my sexy side that I lost touch with a while ago. When I saw the photos I was in disbelief of who that was because it felt like I was looking at a stranger but the realization slapped me in the face and showed me that that’s ALWAYS been me, even when I’m not in full glam. I’d definitely recommend doing a boudoir shoot or if you can’t afford it, grab a tripod and shoot yourself in your favorite outfit, it’ll make you realize or remember just how beautiful you are through your own eyes. If you want to post it to show off to the world what a badass you are do it! but if you choose not to thats cool too because ultimately it’s about you making yourself feel good in your body. Learn to love yourself because once you do everyone around you will benefit from it. Don’t forget that you are the only version of yourself in this world and you should be proud to be who you are. HAPPY PRIDE MONTH everyone! Let’s promise ourselves to be free forever despite the hate that exists in this world. We matter and we’re here to stay!
